The increasing rate of divorce that we see around us is not only astonishing but heart breaking too. The worst affected are the kids. At a tender age, separation is nothing but a nightmare for these little souls. Unable to understand the reasons and technicalities of separation, they try and look for answers around which they fail to get. Though it is not easy for the partners involved too but they have a great responsibility of taking care of their kids’ emotions at this sensitive time. It is important to lend them an ear and answer all their queries at this challenging time.
Tips to counsel kids at the time of separation:
- Keep children Involved-
Though it sounds difficult but it is very important to keep your children involved in the proceedings of separation as much as possible. If the news comes as a shock to them the stress is doubled. The best thing to do as a parent is to have an effective communication. Be ready to answer all their questions and clear all their doubts. All this must happen without playing the blame game and pointing fingers at each other in the relationship.
- Create situations to make them comfortable-
The uncomfortable situations where the partners live separately or the kids have to stay at a different place without one of their parents adds to the existing misery of children. Try and make well planned arrangements for them and both the partners must take enough time to meet the kids.
- Bring about the changes slowly-
A complete and sudden change in the lives of the kids can be emotionally very painful to kids. Avoid changing everything together like their school, their place of living or their surname.
- Spend quality time with them-
It is very obvious to get completely engrossed in the proceedings of the divorce and to think day and night about it. Try and spend some quality time with your kids where you do not mention the issue of separation at all and make them feel loved.
- Engage them in activities-
Engage them in activities of their interest that would bring down their stress.
The most important thing to do as a parent at this time is to reassure the kids that they are in no way responsible for this situation and that it is their personal choice and totally for his benefit.
For more on the topic visit: www.kidsafterseparation.com